Last night I came to a realization. My daughter’s love language is “Receiving Gifts.” She had gone out on a Daddy/Daughter date earlier that afternoon and came back with a gift for her little brother. It was a mini toy monster truck. He finally awoke from his nap and Elle was eager to give it to him.
If you aren’t familiar, according to Gary Chapman, there are five love languages. I have only read his book meant for love relationships. It’s pretty cool to recognize what you and your spouse’s love language is so that you can show him your love in a way that he best understands. There is a love language book for parents to discover their children’s language too. I have not read that one but the languages are the same.
This is not the first time she came home with a little present for her little brother, but what struck me was how she explained why she was giving him this souvenir. She told Finn that she was giving him the truck because she loved him, and if she didn’t give him something then it meant she didn’t love him, and she continued to explain that she loved him and that was why he was receiving this gift.
It was surprising to hear her explain love in this way because my husband and I have not shown love to each other in that way. It is not important to us to receive gifts and in some ways we see it a being materialistic.
This little show of affection reminded me of a conversation I had with Elle a couple of weeks back. We were in the grocery store and she saw the floral department. She told me that “it would be really nice if Daddy would buy me some flowers like he did before.” At the time I didn’t think too much about it.
Another inkling that made me think of the love languages was when my hubby gave her a seed that was starting to sprout. He has been working on wheatgrass lately and was sprouting some seeds in a jar. After he inspected the progress he took one little seed out to show Elle, she is so fascinated with all of hubby’s growing projects. He then told her that she could have the seed. She is such a funny little girl. By her response you would think she just got a pony or whatever other prized possession for which a girl could ask. She gasped with awe and gratitude, and for the rest of the night she named the seed and babied the seed as if it were her favorite doll.
I am super excited to have figured out another dimension to my daughter. It really helps to understand her more deeply. As I expressed this realization to my hubby he made the observation that Finn’s love language is “Acts of Service.” Every evening as we settle in the living room Finn brings Hubby a blanket (we keep it pretty cold in the house, it’s normal to need a blanket at the end of the day). He is also quick to help mommy empty the dishwasher. He always helps sister when we are leaving by bringing her shoes and coat to her. And he gives you this look of appreciation and gratitude if you help him with something as trite as bringing his plate to the table.
How do your children show love? It’s probably the way that they best receive your love too.
Have you discovered your child’s love language?
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